UO Ducks avoid Notre Dame scandal by not making athletes write papers

It’s a national scandal – the NYT has the details here. Notre Dame was trying to make football players write papers. Fortunately the players, or their coaches, hired real students to do the work before any actual damage was done. Jim O’Fallon’s NCAA Infractions Committee will conduct a thorough investigation, just like they did for UNC.

Notre Dame should have plagiarized a page from the Ducks. Make all your athletes take a sham “Family and Human Services” course, taught by Athletic Department employees. Claim that it’s a key part of preventing sexual assaults. And for God’s sake don’t require a paper: just give them all 3 academic credits for posting a “final project” video on youtube:

Read the syllabus here:,

More of the final project videos here:https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=fhs+199

If they still have trouble with NCAA eligibility, set up a special “Art of the Athlete” course for them, and give them all A+’s.

For more info, contact UO’s Faculty Athletics Representative Jim O’Fallon, here, or Duck spokesperson Craig Pintens,here.

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4 Responses to UO Ducks avoid Notre Dame scandal by not making athletes write papers

  1. Anonymous says:

    Isn’t it a FERPA violation for Notre Dame to release information about students cheating?

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    • nonny says:

      They even released names and photos to match today. Oh, the horror!

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  2. Not surprised says:

    ND grad (almost 20 years ago). Easiest course I took in 4 years was statistics in summer school. Class was more than 50% football players, and more than 80% athletes total.

    We had open tests. Not open book tests, but copy from or talk to anyone else during the test if you want.

    The football player who sat in front of me started copying from me when I got an A on the first exam.

    I admit that during the final I answered nearly every question wrong, waited for him to copy, then erased and put down the correct answer.

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  3. Dreamer says:

    Huh. I wonder if they’ll need to tinker with that syllabus when it’s time to make the course permanent and put it through the curriculum committee?

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