Just kidding, this is the NCAA. The Toledo Blade reports that Rob Mullens is paying Bowling Green $900K to give the Ducks a season opener win, and Vegas has the Ducks by 32 points. The $28K per point will come out of UO’s academic budget, one way or another, and it will go to pay the salaries of Bowling Green coaches. The student-athletes will get nothing but concussions, while thanks to Duck AD Rob Mullens’s new Autzen alcohol policies Duck fans will get even drunker. This sporting contest ends ~8PM Saturday, so drive defensively.