University of Nike switches sides, again.

11/10/13, 10:31 PM update: The Wall Street Journal reports that the “fictitious” University Of Nike has moved to Alabama. Ouch. Still no denial from U of Nike spokesperson Jeff Hawkins. Buy on the rumor, sell on the news. T-shirts here.

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303914304579190163802485776

11/10/2013, 12:31 PM: The Ducks lose a game, and our fickle chief benefactor decides that Alabama is the University of Nike, not Oregon? Try the link:


Just a month or so ago Knight gave OHSU $500M, requiring they first raise another $500M from other donors. Which means every wealthy Oregonian is thinking about giving to OHSU, not to UO’s new capital campaign. The Oregon Daily Emerald has more on Bama, here:

University of Nike logo contest

9/13/2013: See below for rules and the Supreme Court ruling on parody. Email your entry to brand_mismanagement@universityofnike.com.

Entry #4:

Entry#3:

Entry #2:

Entry #1:

Soon to be valuable collectors item – the Original U of Nike cup:

U of Nike coffee cup sales are lagging, probably because they are so damn ugly. I’m opening a contest for a logo. Winner gets a free cup with your design, and absolute anonymity. In order to “promote and encourage excellence and innovation” and in keeping with UO Article 51, all submissions become the intellectual property of the University of Nike, dot com.

Email your hi-resolution jpg or similar to brand_mismanagement@universityofnike.com. Contest closes when we’re out of scotch.

Need some inspiration? A helpful UO law alum points readers to UO’s 165 page style manual. (Did UO really pay $300,000 for the Melior font?) Page 87 is below. At UO these are only for use by the Athletics Department. But here at the U of Nike we’re responsible to a higher authority:

The Supreme Court has unequivocally held that a parody may qualify as fair use
under § 107. According to the Court, a parody is the “use of some elements of a
prior author’s composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on
that author’s works.” Id. at 580. Like other forms of comment or criticism,
parody can provide social benefit, “by shedding light on an earlier work, and, in
the process, creating a new one.”

So, have at it:

Rudnick outbursts bring hits, t-shirt sales, laughter

8/30/2013: Thanks for all the U of Nike t-shirt purchases and google ad revenue:

I’ve almost got enough money to pay Dave Hubin’s public records office the $225.56 they want to provide info on the authors of the admin bargaining team’s harassing “open letter to Professor Harbaugh”. Please help out. Buy a U of Nike t-shirt, or make a direct contribution to the UO Matters Public Records and Lagavullin Fund, here:

Donate $5 to pay Dave Hubin’s public records fees


All contributions over $50 receive a framed copy of VPFA Jamie Moffitt’s budget projections:

Just Sell University to Nike

8/28/2013: A modest proposal from the RG letters. You know, President Gottfredson must have received hundreds of letters and emails from parents, students, and alumni about the new football Sweat Shop. Some enterprising reporter ought to ask Dave Hubin for copies, and for the responses.

Just sell university to Nike

Since the University of Oregon will soon have its own governing board, I suggest that it sell the university to Nike, which could do away with all those pesky faculty and academic departments and just retain the Athletic Department. 

Any remaining students could take classes online, or if they wanted a hard-copy professor they could go to Oregon State University. The buildings could be converted to sweatshops, and any students who can’t get a job could work there. Nike would have to upgrade the deteriorating buildings to meet OSHA standards. 

Or if any highly rated 18-year-old behemoth is not impressed enough by the Athletic Performance Center to play at the UO, he could get his own building. 

BUCKLIN MOON
Eugene

Nesbitt on U of Nike, Knight on Penn State

8/20/2013: This man gets a t-shirt! Fortunately it looks like Kitzhaber responded to Knight by appointing a pretty reasonable UO Board. From today’s Op-Ed in the Oregonian:

… When we deal with public funds, we debate trade-offs and opportunity costs. But we tend to ignore these issues when we deal with private money. Still, the trade-offs are there, if not in dollars, then in time, attention and image. For every national headline, every discussion at the legislature and every student tour on campus that focuses on the new football palace, we highlight the entertainment aspect of our university rather than its education and research. 

The appointment of new university boards is timely. We shouldn’t give up on pursuing private support for our public universities. But we should expect community leaders who serve on these boards to place academics above entertainment. Oh, and if there’s any renaming to be done at the UO, we should open the bidding at $7 billion. 

Tim Nesbitt writes on public affairs, has served as an adviser to Govs. Ted Kulongoski and John Kitzhaber, and is past president of the Oregon AFL-CIO.

And here’s Phil Knight’s speech to the Penn State boosters on Joe Paterno, whom he called their “real trustee.”

        <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/video?videoid=a4f05d91-a347-4968-93eb-60b3c15e5069&#038;src=v5:embed::" target="_new" title="Nike's Knight rips PSU Trustees">Video: Nike&#8217;s Knight rips PSU Trustees</a>

Shoes too! We are the University of Nike, dot com.

8/18/2013: U of Nike shoes now available from Nike. Click here to order yours before the lawyers find out!


8/9/2013: U of Nike T-shirts now available! Click here to order from CafePress. $4 from each shirt goes to help UO Matters pay UO’s exorbitant public records fees, and maybe buy me a wee dram or two. Now also in Kelly green, by popular demand. Order one of each before Nike’s lawyers shut this down.


8/8/2013 Sweat Shop update: Some commenter – obviously not an economist – suggests I get the University of Nike t-shirts made in China. This is probably a reference to the 2000 Worker’s Rights Consortium fiasco, where UO President Dave Frohnmayer signed UO up with the WRC, which was fighting what they claimed was Nike’s use of “sweat shop labor” in countries like China. Phil Knight famously said Frohnmayer had “shredded the bonds of trust” with him, and he hasn’t given a dime to UO’s academic side since.

Well, the sad truth is that I can’t afford to get these U of Nike shirts made in China. Their economy has been booming ever since they started inviting foreign investments from “sweat shop” companies like Nike. Chinese wages are now so high that I’d have no profits left over to pay President Gottfredson for public records! Here’s some recent data:

The comparator is India, which until recently pursued an idiotic Ghandian policy of economic self reliance. Their people paid the price: still making t-shirts for $1500 a year, while plenty of Chinese are now rich enough to send their kids to the University of Nike for an education. Often in economics.

Hmm, maybe Uncle Phil is smarter, and not quite as evil, as some people think?

8/8/2013 updates: Ian Campbell of the Oregon Daily Emerald has a great piece on the true cost to UO students of the University of Nike’s boring blow-out wins:

The average college student only gets a total of 132 days — Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays — per year to party, which means wasting some of that time watching the Ducks beat Arizona by 49 doesn’t become a high priority after the third quarter ….

This may explain Oregon’s disappointing #20 finish in the prestigious Princeton Review rankings. Although for a more serious take on the connection between big-time college football wins and college grades, read this article by some U of Nike economists.

8/7/2013 update: CSN is now reporting the Sweat Shop cost $138M. UO’s Risk Management Office probably has an exact number, since it must be on our insurance policy by now. Say, I wonder if VPFA Jamie Moffitt is going to make Rob Mullens pay any of the premiums for it? And spokesjock Craig Pintens is not backing off the “We are the U of Nike” statement.

8/6/2013 update: The University of Nike needs a motto for the t-shirts and coffee cups. In Latin, of course. Any suggestions? If you need inspiration, watch the Register Guard’s video below. Thanks to an anon commenter for the link, and to football coach Matt Helfrich for this quote:

“Incredible function the other night, there were about 20 boosters, myself included, crying over the personal nature of, whatever it was”.

 Smells like #2 from here, Coach:

8/6/2013 update: UO finally lets local reporters see inside the new football Sweat Shop. Diane Dietz of the RG takes it as an opportunity to write about UO’s decrepit classrooms, and RG Columnist Bob Welch says:

“And if this is also about coddling athletes — and let’s be honest, it is — then what happens when these young men head out into a world that’s real, not fantasy?

Besides concussion induced brain damage and the chance to try and sue the NCAA to get the rights to their name back, you mean? No wonder Mullens gave SI a week’s lead for their fluff. The letters to the editors attacking this waste of tax-deductible money are also good.

U of Nike’s Jeff Hawkins: 
“… we’re all in this together.” 
Except for the money of course, 
that’s just for the AD and the coaches.
Typical UO classroom in PLC, no AC.
Formica table, to remind students to study hard so they don’t end up living in a trailer while they repay their loans. Chairs were carefully selected to show off the last 120 years of seating technology. Floor is of vintage linoleum, with tastefully exposed rough asbestos edges, and a few missing pieces to represent the required courses that UO doesn’t have room to teach this quarter.

Meanwhile, Gottfredson still hasn’t appointed a committee to implement the May Senate resolution for ending athletic subsidies and getting the jocks to contribute to the academic side. How about taxing these excessive donations to the jocks, and using the money for UO’s academic mission? Unlikely, Kitzhaber is still trying to figure out just how many jock-sniffers to appoint to the UO Board.

8/5/2013: Professor Hawkins wasn’t kidding. Type “UniversityofNike.com” into your browser and see where it takes you. That .com really hurts. Couldn’t we have at least kept the .edu extension? Still no retraction from Hawkins and Mullens, and no comment at all from President Gottfredson.

8/2/2013: Rob Mullens in the NY Times, on the new UO football “Sweat Shop”, as it’s being called around campus:

“People will complain, but this is not excessive,” said Rob Mullens, the university’s athletic director.

Of course it’s not excessive, you deserve it all Rob. We just want you to stop spending tuition money on jock stuff. But our efforts to name this building have come to naught. Instead, the athletic department has decided to rename the entire university:

“We are the University of Nike,” said Jeff Hawkins, the senior associate athletic director of football administration and operations. “We embrace it. We tell that to our recruits.”

Just the sort of publicity that will encourage parents to entrust their kids, and $45K a year, to UO. And it turns out Mr. Hawkins is on the payroll for a $29,500 performance bonus, as faculty. Hmm:

I’m guessing Professor Hawkins will soon issue a heartfelt apology regretting how his remarks were misinterpreted, along the lines of the one UO spokesperson Dave Williford had to make regarding his comments to the NYT back in December 2011. To be followed by another bonus from Dean Rob Mullens.

7/31/2013: Back in 2010 the NY Times reported that the UO students were calling the Jaqua athlete-only tutoring center the “Jock Box”.

OK, maybe that was because I made up the name and then told the reporter that’s what everyone on campus was calling it. The point is that it stuck, and you can see Mullens and the JH admins wince every time they hear it. So, anyone got a good sobriquet for Knight’s latest gift?


There’s the coach’s sous-chef: UO job posting at http://jobs.uoregon.edu/unclassified.php?id=4301 

And some more background on this lovely gift, from 11/22/2010:

Oregonian headline: “State board approves Phil Knight-University of Oregon request after Richard Lariviere warns of ‘profound’ consequences”

Ron Bellamy of the RG offers a milquetoast recap of a story reported by Bill Graves and Rachel Bachman in the Oregonian back in June: Phil Knight is building more athletic facilities for UO. As in the past, these tax-deductible gifts will cost taxpayers a bundle. They also require UO to pay for all sorts of silly things – like a “football museum curator” as a condition of the gift. I wonder if the academic side is going to pay that too, like we do the $2 million a year Jock Box operations? Read Bachman for details on how Phil Knight’s consigliere Howard Slusher made Lariviere an offer he couldn’t refuse.

8/3/2013: I’ve got to start the voting for top 5 names soon to get this on the Senate agenda for the next meeting, so comments close Monday. And we could use ideas for the youtube video. Our casting director is searching for the “Go Ducks Nutsack Man”, since he’s already got the sweaty jock-strap. Any recent sightings?