Those “special admit” athletes that Helfrich and Altman bring to campus to pay their salaries may be dragging down UO’s SAT scores (~420), but they could sure teach those math nerds at Reed College (~720) a few things about pummeling the faculty with snow. As this RG report explains, two Reed math majors got their Bellman equation wrong, and hit their own dorm with a 900 pound snowball:
Ah, this is what happens when you warp young hothouse minds with pure math, especially when they’re already as weird as Reedies are.
Probably on drugs, too, so they thunk that packed snow has the density of what, clouds?
Our snowballers may be high-grade morons, but at least they’re not as dangerous as a bunch of drugged-out Reedie math freaks.