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UO exempts cold-fusion powered hoverboards from campus ban

Last updated on 01/26/2016

After a long fight with the usual backward-thinking Johnson Hall admins, Prof. Emmett Brown (Physics) and the UO Senate’s Radiation and Skateboard Safety Committee have succeeded in exempting cold-fusion powered hoverboards from the new Emergency Electronic Skateboard Ban Policy:

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In related news, the UOPD is confiscating the spontaneously combustible electronic skateboards from students and shipping them to a US government facility at Malheur Lake, for appropriate disposal.

3 Comments

  1. BenHansen 01/25/2016

    This is really a preemptive effort of the campus cops to keep their cars and kill my one suggestion that cops ride hoverboards in the academic senate.

  2. Anas clypeata 01/25/2016

    I think it might be related to the university’s efforts to keep total energy use flat despite growth in campus population and square footage. I mean, think of all those jigawatts!

  3. anonymous 01/26/2016

    Forget cold fusion, I think it’s time UO started harvesting zero point!

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