UO to cut down 23 trees for Hayward Field Folly – naming contest for phallus opens

The RG has the story here. More in the EW here, explaining that the city forester wants to ensure the replacements are more diverse than the current east-coast elite elm monoculture.

No confirmation yet to rumors that the Faculty Advisory Committee will vote to name the new phallus “Slusher’s Schlong”, now that the Bowerman family has declined UO Foundation Pres Paul Weinhold’s offer to call it “The Bowerman Blunt”.

I urge helpful readers to submit alternative names in the comments. I’ll then host a poll, and the creator of the winning proposal will be awarded some appropriately designed University of Nike© paraphernalia.

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17 Responses to UO to cut down 23 trees for Hayward Field Folly – naming contest for phallus opens

  1. Dog says:

    Come on man,

    that is clearly the Spire of Excellence

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  2. A duck says:

    Is “Barad-dûr” a bit hypebole? Maybe too nerdy of a reference?
    How about “Your tuition must be this high to ride this ride”? Oh, there we go! “Tuition Tower”!

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  3. Amy Adams says:

    How about simply “The Shaft”…?

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    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
  4. UO82 says:

    Lananna’s Bananna

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  5. XDH says:

    I know I’ll take heat for this… but the removal of 23 trees around Hayward warrants the front page of the RG when 23000 or 230000 (or more) trees are seemingly indiscriminately clear-cut annually in Lane County – WTF?!?!? Talk about misplaced priorities… though I do like “Lananna’s Bananna” – hahaha!

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  6. Shooed Dog says:

    “Uncle Phil’s Erection”

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  7. Anonymous says:

    Uncle Phall

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  8. pbob says:

    Pre’s Joint. It will emit a puff of cannabis after every Duck victory.

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    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  9. Texas Guy's Roommate says:

    Nike Priapus!

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  10. Custos says:

    The Spike

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