Board of Trustees unveils 1st replacement for Pioneer Father and Mother

It’s been a while since I walked past Johnson Hall, so I missed the unveiling of the first in what will apparently be a series of culturally relevant yet classically motivated monuments:

Thanks to an occasionally reliable source for the info and photo. I salute our Trustees for erecting this fitting complement to the triumphant Phildo.

As for the Pioneer Mother and Father, despite rumors that they’ve been melted down for scrap to pay for the latest raises for Rob Mullens, Dana Altman and Mario Cristobal, they are apparently still safely quarantined in an undisclosed location, more or less intact:

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14 Responses to Board of Trustees unveils 1st replacement for Pioneer Father and Mother

  1. honest Uncle Gangsta says:

    The new statue — for real? I need to go on campus and take a look! — is emblematic of the white supremacist mindset. That needs to be exposed and eliminated at UO. Talk about systemic racism!

    UOM, if this is a joke, it needs to be stopped. You need to be canceled! At least, cancel my subscription! With a refund.

    • uomatters says:

      Checking our records I see you’ve been a loyal subscriber since 2005. A full refund of your subscription fees, with interest, comes to $0.00. What’s your venmo?

      • honest Uncle Gangsta says:

        Ah, thanks for your kind consideration and human decency, if one may speak of such things anymore. Out of the generosity of my heart, and because I know it will make you feel better about life, yours and mine, I’m going to ask you to hand it all over to the Ducks Athletic Fund.

        • uomatters says:

          Your words are kind, but to paraphrase Calvin men are redeemed by their acts, not their words. The DAF has substantial overhead costs – it’s a private equity thing – and their minimum donation is now $100K. Upon receipt of your bitcoin I’ll work with my friends in the athletic department to help direct these funds to the appropriate recruits, less the usual transactions costs for this sort of work.

          • honest Uncle Gangsta says:

            Well that’s all just wonderful, and as I expected from my beloved Ducks and UO. Even though I was never a Calvinist.

            And I checked in front of Johnson Hall, and the statue is there, and it is just as you said.

            • uomatters says:

              How close did you get? There’s a rumor going around that it’s actually an emeritus prof in silver body paint.

          • Anonymous says:

            No its John Locke,

            “I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts”

  2. Vercingetorix deGaulle, Ph.D. says:

    Putting a statue of “The Dying Gaul” right opposite Friendly, where the Romance Languages Department is HQ’d, is clearly a micro- (or macro-) aggression against the French faculty. And language instruction at the UO is disproportionately shouldered by adjuncts!!! Once again Johnson Hall is crapping on the powerless, and the silence of the union is notable here. Has Dave Cecil cut a deal with Kevin Reed? We demand answers.

    • uomatters says:

      Agreed. The Gallic Wars are still fresh in people’s hearts and minds. If the classicists want to taunt the French professors, a statue in front of Johnson Hall is not the right time and place. GC Reed should have it removed, as he did with the UO Divest banner. I’m sure the union will support this – we all agree that free speech needs to be carefully controlled by the proper authorities.

  3. Dog says:

    OMG, so that’s where Jimmy Hoffa is buried …

  4. Anonymous says:

    The statues are being stored somewhere in the dark corners of the Romania building

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