That would of course be OSU:
Meanwhile here at UO, application numbers are a closely guarded secret, to prevent department heads from getting uppity and asking tough questions about why JH is starving them.
Oregon’s flagship U reports 23% surge in freshman applicants
Just so you know, this is satire. Today is the first day that the application is open, so it’s a very very small sample.
It is a joke about how colleges seize on any good news to issue press releases about admissions.
What! Next you’re going to try and tell me OSU is not really Oregon’s flagship.
And, Esteemed Colleague Big Bill: the “flagship” is also something that should never be joked about, not in Oregon. Berkeley and UCLA are one thing, UO and OSU another. Especially when OSU has the most students, the most research money. Who knows, maybe they have the best students now — who knows, now that the SAT/ACT is optional? But “UO is the flagship.” Do not ever say otherwise, you already used your “get out of jail free” card. And there can be worse fates than jail. Ask my old pal Jimmy Hoffa.
Those factors are only part of what makes a university a “flagship” and not only because those trends are transitory. They are important, and for you maybe the only important factors, but, not to be mean, no one much care what Uncle Gansta has as their personal flagship metrics.
I concede that others might have different values. The slickest athletics, hanging on in the AAU, a new “Knight Campus” instead of a real campus in Bend (and instead of mundane engineering and ag schools) — and let us not forget UO’s noble heritage of KKK forebears. Or what else do you have in mind?
OSU certainly does a better job of educating young Oregonians. Both in quantity and quality.
Jon, if this is for real, it is unreal. At UO, you might be looking for a job if you employed this kind of humor! Some things, like bombing Nancy Pelosi’s plane, should just not be joked about. “Enrollment management” is another. Don’t say you weren’t, uh, advised.
indeed, what is really infuriating about these current times is a) the art of satire seems to be extinct, b) no body bothers with verification of anything, any more, c) truth by press release is our God, all else is fake news …
It is nice to know those data have been satirized for our protection.